Do I remember your face, I have been in pain, sorrow and misery. As it happens to all nice people, the flame of life doesn’t burn for long, it was extinguished prematurely before shining long enough to show me the way in this dark world. The wicked live longer than the humble and I feel hollow inside Me, Will I finish this story tears are already welling up in my eyes. If for not your last said words “men don’t cry ” those still vibrating in my ears, the paper am writing on would be soaked with tear drops. At my mother’s knee, nobody can bear life without a companion and none Will understand the excruciating pain of life till the mom is laid to rest.
The pain of deleting a mother’s phone number after her passing on.I wish to receive a call from my god sent guardian Angel but am only building castles in the air, She is lying under the tropical flowers in a grave in the district of Mityana now living in eternity. Your picture floods my mind whenever I close my eyes, your soothing voice and hands that lulled me to sleep and the heavenly sent and fragrant tone of sound that is still dancing in my ears and minds all ceased when you departed.
That June evening in the 2009 school holiday when I last held you near gazing at the pain and distress in your looks and face that you tried to hide with a relief smile so that your children do not recognize the pain, like any mother would have stressed not to worry and scare the shit out of her children. How I wish I knew I was staring and having you by my side for the last moments, l remember the cup of tea you served me on your sick bed where we should have been the ones to encourage her she instead comforted us. I can still see the dry lips encouraging us.
Life is seemingly different from that July afternoon I last touched your face with your eyes eternally closed and laid about five feet in the ground, is life turning a mess? Anyway who cares, the one who would have cared you turned a memory. That is the very day I turned a man despite the age I was. I used to hate the road when I missed home but home turned vain and empty without you, the love you showered me with is the best award I will ever achieve. For the least time I spent with you I wish I expressed my gratitude before you Now that I can only imagine since you’re long gone.
For I bless your luckiest blood running in my vessels, how I wish I had the money to buy you the world then. I happen to feel envious when friends narrate stories about the love and care of their mother’s which I seem never to have ever received, the love of mothers for their children drives me to a mental hospital and wish that July month never appeared on the calendar for you to live longer. I stupidly grin when your picture leaks my mind and wish death could be bribed, I wish the good Lord could only give me be thirty seconds to meet you I have lots to tell and report to you, people are really bad mom.
Fairness, equity and justice all vanished for the widowed children, we survive for the God’s sake. The burden of guilt am forever carrying I never painted a smile on the most beautiful face of yours, I don’t mean we live the worst part of life but your departure made the puzzle’s complete impossible. Mom, the heart never forgets what the eye has seen and if loyalty really existed, water would never cook fish but your siblings and relatives are worse than monsters comparably to beasts. Am learning the best lessons of life after your departure, we are ever at fault like it is said your enemies will still accuse you of causing dust even if you dance in water. What happened to the love they showed us before you joined the everlasting life.
I would wish to write the more but the more I hold my pen, the bigger the hollow I feel inside Me, I only bless the breast that fed me. I have turned a man but the older I grow, the more I wish you’re here and I hold my head up high in the storm thanking the Lord for what you left and equipped us with or else how would the orphaned children survive. Am only painting your angelic face on my body so as I don’t forget the reason am living and for I to walk by your side, I guess you can hear our crys. Till we meet again in the everlasting walk of life.
In the loving memory of Nabasiitwa Irene, Nakanwagi Milly Ngubi, Nabatanzi Sarah and all other deceased mothers across the globe. May Their Souls Rest In Eternal Peace
Striving Writer 